Moments
(Posted on Thursday, September 27, 2018)
“They say” live in the moment. Well… this can be hard when that moment is challenging… when that moment is difficult. My day is made up of moments—a bunch of moments pieced together. Some moments are so happy that I may burst. In other moments, I have so much anger—even rage—that I don’t know how to hold it together… and sometimes I don’t. There are times I find myself in a fit because my toddler woke up the sleeping infant. I was finally having somewhat of a break as the baby was peacefully sleeping, until my toddler poked her in the nose. Then there are the times when they test my limits beyond belief and do something like draw a mural on the wall or hurt their sibling. Maybe they look us right in the eye, and talk back with a serious attitude when we ask them to complete a simple task. The fury that rises up inside of me in moments like these is like a volcano ready to explode. Then there are those times which I want to keep in my heart forever, like when my son snuggles up to me and puts his little hand gently on my neck. There are times when my heart is so full of love it may explode, like when we watch them share a toy with another child for the first time. Or, when they say something which surprises us. I recall there was a time when I was crying because I had reached my wit’s end… yet again. My toddler looked at me and said, “Don’t cry Mommy. It will be okay.” Or, the times when our children repeat something we have been trying to teach them, but weren’t sure until that moment that they took it to heart. Maybe they do something to demonstrate a particular value which is very important to us, like when we watch them reach out to another child who is playing alone. Sometimes these extremes—the happy and angry moments—are immediately following each other. Some days I wonder, Is this what it means to have multiple personalities? For instance, one moment my oldest is crying out from her room as soon as I had fallen asleep myself. I jolt out of bed angry because of my lack of sleep. The next moment, I tell her to think of something that makes her happy. She tells me she is happy when she plays with her brother. Then, my heart melts. In the end, we have to remember all of these times are just… moments. They will pass. The bad moments will soon be gone. The good moments are fleeting too. So for now, I will try to wait for the bad moments to pass and hold onto the good ones for as long as I can. Because—as I keep being told—soon these babies will grow up and all the good, amazing, and bad moments will be a thing of the past. Then, I bet I will miss them all. You may also enjoy Moms Have Tantrums Too! or What Does It Mean to Be a Parent? To learn more check out: About Lauren