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Or What?

I’m putting the baby to sleep and she’s finally down. I go to put her in the crib and I awkwardly try to figure out how to lay her down—how to slide my arm out without waking her. I think, Maybe if I just slide it out ever so carefully, she will stay asleep and it will be okay? Have you guys been here before?

This maneuver makes me think of parenting in general. How often are we doing something ever so carefully to prevent something “big” or “bad” from happening?

Maybe if I just cajole her in this gentle way she won’t cry or start a tantrum? Maybe if I avoid? Maybe if I just give in? Maybe if I just skip the play date so we can stay on schedule?… and so on.

I have a big question. Or what? Or what…. even in the worst case, we and our kids are likely going to be okay. We CAN do this. I have learned I need to try not to worry so much about what I may be doing right or wrong, about what “they say” is right, or about what may happen. Instead, I need to just do what I feel is best and let it go—use my mommy intuition.

So in these cases, choose something and go with it. We can take the anxiety out of the situation a bit by taking the pressure off of ourselves from time to time as we just do what works… and by realizing a perfect result isn’t a requirement. I’ve found accepting that we aren’t perfect and that we don’t need to be can go a long way.

There are going to be a lot of moments as parents where we feel we have dodged the bullet. Whew… I moved my arm and she’s still asleep! Thank goodness! But there will also be times where it doesn’t work. Ohhh, he woke up! Or, Oh dear! She had a tantrum in the middle of the store… and you know what? That is okay too! So, hang in there mom, dad, parents! You are doing a great job… no matter the outcome!

 

To learn more about my blog, check out: About Lauren

If you enjoyed this post, you may also enjoy: Moments

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16 responses to “Or What?”

  1. Trang Lopez says:

    Love this! My husband is best at saying “Or what?”. He never seems to worry about anything or consider it to be a big deal. If we don’t have time to attend an event we originally planned to, he usually doesn’t mind. I need to print this and tuck it away during those moments when I think I need to do it all. Thanks for sharing!

    • admin says:

      Hi Trang! Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words! I am glad you found the post helpful! My husband is the same way! He has helped teach me not to worry so much over the small things!

  2. I have these moments every single day… You are so right but being a parent is so rewarding. I thank you for reminding everyone of that.

    • admin says:

      Hi Davianna! Thank you so much for sharing! I couldn’t agree more. These are daily moments for me as well. It is so easy to get caught up in the difficult moments and forget to focus on the rewarding ones.

  3. Rochelle says:

    Great read. I have four kids and some days are crazy to say the least. I have definitely changed my perspective on parenting over the years. I have had to relax and except my unperfect parenting with a smile.

    • admin says:

      Hi Rochelle! Thank you so much for sharing! I can relate! I love the idea of accepting un-perfect parenting with a smile!

  4. Kisha says:

    Learning to relax and go with the flow as a parent is one of the most valuable lessons I think we can learn to make our lives easier– but it’s hard. We have expectations that we put on ourselves and those that others put on us as well, but, if we can work past them and relax, we’ll be better mothers for it.

    • admin says:

      Hi Kisha! Such true words! I agree! There are so many expectations! I love how you said pushing past them makes us better mothers!

  5. Sherry says:

    What a beautiful post that any parent can relate to! 🙂

  6. Simone says:

    I love what if questions. It gets so easy in our comfort zone, but every now and then we need to get out of that comfort and see what if…. Brilliantly written xx

  7. I need to start saying this to myself more! I’m really enjoying your blog 💕

    • admin says:

      Hi Annie! Thank you so much! This means the world! I am so happy that you are enjoying it! I also need to say this to myself more!

  8. Sonja says:

    What a great phrase to add to the mindset! With my firstborn, my postpartum anxiety was diagnosed and meant that my whole day would unravel when my little man wasn’t napping like he was supposed to. Now with my 2nd baby, things have gotten much easier with keeping it all in perspective. I love this go to phrase!

    • admin says:

      Hi Sonja! Thank you for sharing! I am so glad you are having an easier time with the second baby. Postpartum can be so difficult! It can be so hard to keep it all in perspective, but as you said, definitely helps when we can.

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Welcome to my blog. I am a licensed school counselor turned stay-at-home mom and writer. I have three wonderful children. I love the water, baking, getting creative, and traveling, especially to new places. I have a bachelor’s degree in science (Psychology major and Sociology minor), and a master’s degree in counselor education (M.Ed.). I wouldn’t call myself a parenting expert exactly, but I believe all parents are experts at raising their own children. After all, no one knows your kids better than you! My blog is about what “they say”—what we hear and read—versus what “we say”: using our own intuition. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.